There were hardwood floors and brick walls.

Five or six rows of chairs were arranged in a circle. The circle was quartered by aisles.

An overhead camera looked down on a round podium in the centre of the circle, projecting onto screens on the side walls.

The families were to take the front two rows. (Lonnie and Elsa had come with their sons and daughters and their partners, Jamie had come down from San Jose and Hadley was there.)

Jared’s parents had come with one pair of grandparents and three or four brothers and sisters. The other grandparents had declined.

The wedding planner took us through it all before the rehearsal dinner. No-one was being “given away”. It was just a simple commitment ceremony with vows and an exchange of rings.

Mikey and Jared were to enter down opposite aisles while the well-known gay writer and activist who had devised the ceremony would come to meet them down a third aisle to the Beatles song “Got to Get You into My Life”.

After the ceremony, the chairs would be cleared to the sides for the dance party.

For the rehearsal dinner we went to an Italian restaurant. It was a buffet so we could all walk around and meet each other. The menu was BLTs and short ribs with wine spritzers and strawberry martinis.

I met Jared’s parents there for the first time. Jared’s father is a successful San Diego attorney.

He seemed to have made himself an expert on every aspect of same sex marriages. In fact, he was positively garrulous on the topic.

He joked about how the traditional bureaucratic terminology has had to be updated. “No bride and groom any more. The personal information categories in online applications just have “Spouse A” and “Spouse B.”

The ceremony was very simple. After it Jared and Mikey each read a poem to the other. Mikey’s had the line “your slightest look will easily unclose me”.

At the dance party afterwards I saw Jared’s parents watching as Mikey and Jared danced cheek to cheek and kissed on the dance floor.

His mom was open-mouthed.

I went and stood beside her but we did not speak. I wanted to share something with her but I could not find the words.

I am writing this in the Huntington Gardens. Maureen, Hadley and the girls have gone to the tea room.

Mikey has just tweeted “Married”.