Calvin Talking

I hear voices in my mind sometimes. If I can remember them, I write them down. Calvin is our gardener, he comes twice a week. But he would never want to talk “politics”.

“I like to leave a clean plate. I like to see a job done right. When you’ve mown a lawn or trimmed hedges, you want to hear ’em say: ‘This place is looked after properly.’

My clients often can’t assemble what they order, like a new rotary washing line or garden furniture from Ikea. I see how to do it right away. Don’t need the instructions.

I have spare keys for their houses. That’s useful if I need to use the toilet when they are away. Or get a cup of tea. (From time to time a client locks himself out).

One’s been giving  me a subscription to Model Railways every year. I appreciate that. Another gives me a bottle of whisky at Christmas, usually Bells or Famous Grouse. Mostly it’s just a bit of extra money.

They all pay monthly, by cheque. Susan keeps the books. I telephone and remind late payers.

Every year Susan and I take a week on a canal boat. We know nearly all the waterways of England now.

Our parish is in a benefice, that means a group of parishes. I am a churchwarden. Susan is in the choir.  I am there, at the door of the church, at weddings and funerals and other church events. 

Our children are doing OK. One is a vet and the other works for an events company. They seem to be happily married. We have lovely grandchildren.

Our house is part of the estate owned by the family that has been here for generations. Susan calls the landlord “peremptory”. He is not interested in us, but he does get things fixed when we ask. (He lives in the big house with the long drive and electric gates – not the one you can see, which is the remaining wing of the original house which was set on fire in the war by evacuees, but a converted stable block just out of sight).

Neither of us has a passport. Why do we need one? There is plenty for us here.

We never talked about it much, even with our friends. It used to be called the Common Market. Then it turned into the European Union. What was that all about? We have our own Queen and our own Parliament. She is a good queen. We couldn’t have a better one.”