October 30th. Julie’s birthday.
Two anniversaries. The woman who died on her birthday.
Oh Julie. The bright, positive, energetic American girl who was my wife.
I feel so sad today. As ever.
I once overheard her say to a friend: “He doesn’t love me, but I chose him – so that’s too bad”. Then she gave her chugging laugh.
The girl with the big smile. The girl who just got on with it. Even when she cried there was a laugh behind the tears.
Oh, on this day, how I would love to see again the American girl with the big smile and feel that zinging slap on the back she used to give me.
And how she would love her to see her children today. How relieved she would be that Elsa and Lonnie made such a wonderful home for them in Klamath Falls, Oregon.
“Choices and Regrets.” Elsa’s words. She was right. I missed a lot of their young lives. But today, thinking of them, I wouldn’t change anything.
In spite of everything there is a bright haze around those years.
I emailed Mikey and Jamie and Hadley. “Your mother was a wonderful woman. She would be so happy if she could see you all today.”
Mikey replied: “Yes, I can’t tell you how much I missed her.”
Hadley wrote: ” Me too. I made that little album, remember. One picture is always at my beside. Just looking at her gives me confidence. I hear her saying: “Go For It. You Can Do It, Girl.”
Jamie hasn’t got back yet.