“Bluntly, grief is just a form of depression”, said Brian. I had asked him about the murdered girl’s mother.

It is Sunday morning. I wanted Brian’s help with Dorothy,

“Depression is a disorder in the relationship between the cortex, in particular the cingulate cortex, and the limbic system. Our limbic system is basically our animal brain. It goes into shock and gets severely stressed by separation from a mother or child. 

Another important player is the hormone cortisol, which drives stress. Young rats exhibit high stress levels after separation. It seems to have a lifetime impact – they turn into jittery fearful animals, with a taste for alcohol-laced water, suggesting that they are medicating themselves for anxiety.

Prozac and similar drugs activate the brain by slowing the re-uptake of serotonin, a neurotransmitter that seems to promote calm, positive thinking. But the best thing for someone who has suffered the loss of a child is a close friend. Having a man in her life is only going to be useful if the relationship is good. Otherwise she is better off without him. I should keep the ex-husband away in this case.

Something similar happens when women have what’s called ‘postpartum blues’, which can lead to mental illness.

The girl’s mother will most probably be feeling listless, suffer sleep disturbance, lethargy, low appetite, lack of concentration. Everything will seem hopeless. Her resistance to infection may be low. Expect skin disorders and colds, at the least. Be careful. Make sure she is seeing her doctor. You can talk to her about the future, too. Survivors build a new world round themselves. Human grieving ceremonies work because they help re-start grief-stricken lives…”

It was at that moment that I realised Brian had a girlfriend. A striking dark-haired woman came in, wearing a beautiful kimono robe with wide sleeves and pink flowers on a pale blue background. She sat down on the sofa beside Brian, looked at me with a smile, then turned to him, waiting to be introduced.

After she had sat down I saw she was wearing those Kenkoh massage sandals. (I am giving some to Maureen for Christmas. I chose the green soles for Maureen. These soles were pink.)

“This is Patrizia”, Brian said. “As it happens, she is an expert on postpartum stress…”

“Are you Italian?” I asked.

“Certo”, she said.

A little later she got up again and came back with coffee in a French press and a bowl of oranges.