Norman and Melanie are adopting Lavinia. They got their court order. They are using step-parent adoption. Melanie and Norman become Lavinia’s legal parents and she becomes Lavinia Harris.

There have been quite a lot of “issues”.

The one that had everyone worried was exactly when Amanda conceived. It seems that must have been around her birthday in May 2009, just when she reached 16. (Her birthday is on May 10.)

No-one wanted too many questions around that issue. I can only guess what the social worker asked Norman when she interviewed him before advising the court. I know Maureen told the social worker that in her view Amanda was rebellious, wanted to show her independence, but though careless, she was very fond of Norman and sorry for him, too, for he was all on his own and missing Sylvia a lot.

I don’t know what Amanda told the social worker.  I think her lawyer would have advised her on that.

On the original birth certificate no father was named. Melanie made sure a new certificate was registered with Norman’s name on it, for which they needed Amanda’s approval.

That made way for step-parent adoption, which is easier than other routes.

They thought they should be together for at least six months, Melanie and Norman, that is, to show they had a stable relationship. They waited till July last year before pushing forward with the adoption.

And last week they got married, quietly, at the registrar’s office.

The biggest battle was whether the adoption was closed or open. Melanie was determined on a closed adoption at first – that means no relationship with the biological mother and no information until the child is entitled to learn his or her parentage at age 18.

Anyone could see that wouldn’t work.

Lavinia was nearly three years old. She’s bound to remember her mother. So they decided to handle it another way – simply tell Lavinia that she had a new mummy and daddy and she was going to live with them.

Of course Melanie was on top of the legal issues from Day 1. Maureen and Amanda’s lawyer went for a Parental Responsibility Order at first, which would have left Amanda with some legal rights over Lavinia’s future. But Melanie fought doggedly against that. Eventually Amanda and Maureen gave in.

These were some other conditions.

After the handover Amanda would go travelling for six months. On her return she would be allowed to babysit and things like that. She was to leave the annex.

It’s hard on Maureen. Maureen has been “granny” since the day Lavinia was born – the only “granny” Lavinia had, in fact.

Granny Maureen is now going to morph into “auntie” and is allowed to have Lavinia for the day, once a month.

Of course Lavinia was getting a new granny none of us knew – Melanie’s mother.

I am wondering how Melanie, who is in her early 40’s, will cope with a three-year old.

She’s taking a six-month leave of absence from her firm and she is a very determined person.

But what if Lavinia just doesn’t take to her new mum?

Maureen could have pushed for a Parental Responsibility Order in her own right and had Lavinia come and live with us. I even suggested that, but Maureen said no, she definitely wasn’t going there. If she had gone for that I don’t think Norman and Melanie would have had a chance.

I think she wants Amanda to be free to re-start her life. She doesn’t tell me everything but I am pretty sure Amanda will get an allowance from Norman while she goes to college and also that they have promised to send Lavinia to a private school.

I think she hopes to build a good working relationship with Melanie, whom she respects even though they haven’t been close.

And Maureen’s never had a bad word for Norman. She’s indulgent about men, says things like “Some men just can’t help themselves”. And she’s completely unsentimental about Amanda.

All this hasn’t done Norman’s reputation any good in the village. Melanie and Norman are keeping a low profile.

Today I heard that I may know someone caught up in the hostage crisis in Algeria. It’s Andy, who worked in Derek‘s gym for a while.

I hope he makes it back.