I awoke in the night and realised I had been dreaming about the Polish girl, Kasia.
I was out of the dream but I could still hear her voice in my head and I went downstairs and I wrote down what it said.
its not the same light in the morning
they do not feel things the same as we do
there is no warmth in the stare they give me
I am an interloper
they paid me little wages
these are hard mercenary people
I can trick them, flatter them – they like that
but I longed to go home
one of them I hated most of all
she was my rival – we have to fight for our men, destroy our rivals, that’s life
I thought he was just tricking her, but then I ceased to trust him
perhaps he planned to leave me
so I watched her, saw her leave her house in her little red car
I worked hard to persuade him, talked to him about going home, buying a little house
why should I care about the parents, I don’t know them?
I told him she was just using him
I saw him become cold, hard, sensible again, start thinking again about how to make this all work, to think about the part he had to play
and still they can prove nothing, they found us guilty without proof
they do not know for sure who killed her, who drove the car to the place, who set it alight
they just said we were guilty because they hated us, but they had no proof, I thought a court needed proof